Thursday, August 31, 2006
j
when will the ending start a new beginning? what if i told you i felt the same way? what will become of us then? would you rather throw this feeling when happiness is only a sentence away? you CAN tell cant you? if you never try you'll never know right? so why not now? and where you stand? if you could change your actions for a better tomorrow, why not? if you could make your own ending, you would, would'nt you?
life's a show, and we all play our parts, and when the music starts, we open up our hearts.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
j
you truely are that special person that has filled the void in my heart. my love for you only grows. and i cant try to stop it, and i dont want to. if only you knew, my heart beats for only you.
human beings need alot of things to feel alive. family, love. but we only need one thing to actually be alive. we need a beating heart. and when our heart is threatened, we respond in one or two ways. we either run or, we attack. theres a scientific term for this, fight or flight. its instinct. we cant control it. or can we?
yours truly
its not so easy to get back in the ring, especially with the one who knocked you out in the first place.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
if you could see me now
friends come in all different shapes and sizes, we all know that, so why should imaginary friends be any different? the important thing is not what we look like but the role we play in our best friend's life. friends choose certain friends because thats the kind of company they are looking for at that specific time, not because theyre the correct height, age or have the right hair colour. its not always the case but often theres a reason why.
but just because you see imaginary friends, it doesnt mean you see them all. you have the ability to see them all but as humans we only use ten percent of the brain, you wouldnt believe the other abilities there are. there are so many other wonderful things that eyes could see if they really focused. lifes kind of like a painting. a really bizarre abstract painting. you could look at it and think that all it is is a blur. and you can continue living your life thinking that all it is is a blur. but if you really look at it, really see it, focus on it and use your imagination, life can become so much more. the painting could be of the sea, the sky, people, buildings, a butterfly, a flower or anything except the blur you were once convinced it was.
isnt it strange how different people can look when you actually look them in the eyes?
Saturday, August 26, 2006
G.A m.g
no-one likes to lose control, but there's nothing worse. it's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task. and still there are times when it just gets away from you. when the world stops spinning and you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. no matter how hard you fight it, you fall. and it's scary as hell. except there's an upside to freefalling. it's the chance you give your friends to catch you.
cause good things aren't always what they seem. too much of anything, even love, is not always a good thing.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
stolen
you watch the season pull up its own stakes, and catch the last weekend of the last week. before the gold and the glamour have been replaced. another sun soaked season fades away.
invitation only grants farewells. crush the best one, of the best ones. its too early to say goodnight.
and from the bar room floor we are a celebration. one good stretch before our hibernation, our dreams assured and we are, we'll sleep well.
you are the best one of the best ones. we all look like we feel.
you have stolen my heart.
Monday, August 21, 2006
lolllll
LOL!
HAHAHHAHA
love it when i look like an ass.
i think we all need a little help once in awhile, dont you think?
when you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. when a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. but as for your heart, when that breaks, its completely silent.
you would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even some sort of ceremonious sound like the crashing of cymbals or the ringing of a bell. but its silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.
if there is a noise, its internal. it screams and no one can hear it but you. it screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. it thrashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea. that's what it looks like and that's what it sounds like, thrashing, panicking, trapped. like a prisoner to its own emotions.
but that's the thing about love - no one is untouchable. it's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty water, but when it actually breaks, its silent. you're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.
yours truly
you would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even some sort of ceremonious sound like the crashing of cymbals or the ringing of a bell. but its silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.
if there is a noise, its internal. it screams and no one can hear it but you. it screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. it thrashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea. that's what it looks like and that's what it sounds like, thrashing, panicking, trapped. like a prisoner to its own emotions.
but that's the thing about love - no one is untouchable. it's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty water, but when it actually breaks, its silent. you're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
uhhhhhhhhhhhh
LOL IF YOU NEVER WATCHED MAN UTD'S 5-1 OVER FULHAM YOU OUGHT TO TAKE A KNIFE AND STAB YOURSELF!!!! of course, my rooney scored 2, and assisted one to mr bloody show pony ronaldo. but oh wth, they still won 5-1 din they? and evra was damn good. he can defend like crazy. o'shea is a perfectly waste if good first squad space la.bloody hell dunno what he doing on the pitch. make the team like one bloody doughut. and uhh!! alan smith is coming back to center forward! hell yeah baby! alan smith alan smithh! ahh wth very lazy to blog, tmr english oral la. butterflyy. butterfly. peanut butter. tuna. chicken. jelly. kaypee! runaway. dusk and summerrrrr. POTATOES!
Friday, August 18, 2006
happy hour!
shhhhhiiitt! english orals on monday! and im getting the jitters already! i think i might just pee in front of the examiners on monday la. anyways, good luck to those having it now, dez jeremy kayt and uhh.. everyone else, haha. oh wells, its a damn friday! its happy hour day, and i hope nothing would get in the way of it! guess the week went kinda smoothly, kinda having perpetual mood shifts throughout tho. haha. and yeah at least i did an itty bit of my art work. its 3 weeks to prelims and 8 weeks to Os. ahh how fast can the year move! time really takes it all! and its like i never really did anything productive this year, which kinda makes you feel like your a freaking failure. haha, crap im so lazy i wanna slap myself on the forehead. gahhh. kpees so fucking noisy he's pissing the living hell outta me, and the weather's adding to it! its hot and cold hot and cold! its annoying and making so many people ill! but im quite happy it made mr chng take some 3 days off school, no more 10 minutes of standing before he starts the bloody lesson, its quite dumb actually cause he's always complaining about us wasting his time when actually subconsciously(i guess) hes wasting his own time, and our time as well, theres not really a need to keep the damn floor clean or like what the fuck colour shoes you wear. sweeping the floor and making me get a fucking new pair of shoes, now that is time wasting dude. you cant get smart if you wear white shoes! if it worked that way, everybody would be geniuses and coming up with E=mc2. and i dont see where sweeping the damn floors get you, i dont wanna grow up driving some onyx truck. horseshit! look, and now you made me watse another ten minutes complaining about what you comaplained about and thats really time wasting. gees, i think you need to find a wife, you need some love in your life baby!
heres the day you hoped would never come, dont feed me violence, just run with me through rows of speeding cars, the paper cuts, the cheating lovers, the coffees never strong enough. i know you think its more than just bad luck.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
crapp!
uhhh, been damn tired recently! like lotsa stuff to do, like my art, im not even half way through la, im like so gonna die. is the o level syndrome starting to bite you in the ass yet? it certainly has for me. failing my chinese was kinda like pouring cold water over my head, definitely a wake up call. havent touched my books in forever! im like this big stone that cannot move, im so lazy! ahh! i feel like i have not even time for my ownself, if it aint doing my art, its helping someone else in their art, seriously, maybe im just not up to it, its just too much to handle on some days, theres always time in the night i know, but its like im really tired after the 'afternoon shift' and when i start doing my own, i just cant really concentrate! you see, if i start in the afternoon, wouldnt it be more time to study do other work + sleeeepppp? oh wells, i guess i just have myself to blame for agreeing to help. sometimes i just dont know what to do with myself.
would'nt it be nice?
Sunday, August 13, 2006
remember
the stories are as old as time itself. why do we listen again and again? because these are the stories of family, and once we look past the fighting, pain and the resentment, we occasionally like to remind ourselves there is absolutely nothing more important.
i see enough of the road to understand how it must be traveled. the trip is to keep moving forward, to let go of the fear and the regret that slow us down and keep us from enjoying a journey that will be over too soon. yes, there will be unexpected bends in the road, shocking surprises we didn't see coming, but that's really the point. don't you think?
Thursday, August 10, 2006
birthdayy
yesterday was really great. everyone was damn sneaky, even to the last minute. you sneaky bunches of.. sneaky people! ok so anyways, firstly, they brought me to sentosa, in jeans, real smart move there, hahaha, but it was real fun tho, really enjoyed it, and guess what, i didnt fork out a cent, cause apparently someone wanted to pay everything for me! pig! i dont care your next four months is mine baby! haha! ok, so after that, we all headed to suntec for dinner at marcheeeeee, well it was my first time there so i was a bloody sua-gu. sort of. met up with my fav piggles dez, and julian, he didnt really look quite happy tho. oh wells. i ate 3/4 of the bloody crepe and felt like puking already, and with dez sitting in front of me, made it worst. HAHA. ok im just joking, but i had the cheesy puky feeling. i think she had it too, i dunno how jeremy and zhi ate so much. uhhhhhhhhhhh. gross, then jeremy went missing, always going missing, jereMIAmy.hahaa, and uhhh we met kt and jereMIAmy, (again!) at GV marina, stupid kaytteeeee come so late!! click was pretty good la, well it did make someone who sat beside me cry, booloo. someone went missing again! see always missing, finding you is like trying to find kaypee in a pile of cotton pillows. hahaa, ya, so, they brought me to liang court, and i expected there to be a cake somewhere, and yup, i think i have like the ultimate sixth sense ever! and uhh it feels rather weird being the center of attention. but i really enjoyed the day, i really did.
so heres thanks to zhi! i know you were the mastermind behind everything, you sneaky major planner. i know you forked out alotta moneehh too! jereMIAmy, you paid for my like everything la, and you missed the movie to get the cake and everything. im gonna stuff you with lotsa food in the next four months! mark my words! hahaa, DEZ STINKYYY, for being there and making yourself look like an idiot so everyone can laugh, and for the back ride, and for letting me dig your ass. haha! KAYYTTEEE, i know your kinda brokee and with tabs and everything, so just really happy you made it anyways! appreciate it! viknesshhh!! how come you went missing at night sial!! haha!! k la, i know you did alot, like gng with zhi to buy the cake. layhoon, although you were only there for the first half, really appreciate it, because most of em couldnt make it, heh. VIC, for being present throughout the whole dayy and for the shirt too! julian, i know we're in abit of a difficult situation now but you showed anyways, so really thanks.
thanks for the great day thanks for the presents thanks for the cake and thank you all for being there, love you guys bunches!!!!
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
suckass
well wayniq just left for the US yesterday and i wish that there was something i could do to make my sister feel a kezillion times better. at this point if i could have anything in this world, it would be just that. it really feels like shit feeling mega useless and knowing that you can do nothing to make that person feel any better. unless wayniq comes back that is, but i know that can never happen, he's half way across the world and all thats left is peanuts and a few slices of tuna. that didnt make sense but wth, when he comes back, sure am i gonna stab him. haha. just a joke.
ive been to the airport to watch people leave a couple of times, and yeah the feeling sure does suck, but we have to move on somehow or rather. and after awhile, it'll all be alright again. time heals all wounds, its true, but some wounds need a longer time to recover, and during that healing period, its up to us whether we wanna stall or move on, because, its just life. it trips us sometimes, and we shouldnt let it burn our plans for the future ahead.
if i could do something to change the world, id do anything.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
first day on a brand new planet
You know, sometimes people play hard-to-get because they need to know the other person's feelings are real.
are you ever gonna admit to me or you prefer to hide all your life?
Sunday, August 06, 2006
fight or flight
in life we are taught, that there are seven deadly sins, we all know the big ones, gluttony, pride, lust. but the sin you dont hear much about, is anger. maybe its because we think anger is not that dangerous, that we can control. my point is, maybe we dont give anger enough credit. maybe it can be alot more dangerous than we think. after all, when it comes to destructive behaviour, it did make the top seven. so what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? its pretty simple, really. you give in to a sin like envy or pride, than you only hurt yourself. dry lust and you'll only hurt yourself and probably one or two others. but anger, anger is the worst, the mother of all sins. not only can anger drive you over the edge, but when it does, it can take an awful lot of other people with you.
could this be out of line?
Thursday, August 03, 2006
do you hear my heart beating? can you hear that sound? cause i cant help thinking, and i wont look down. and when i looked up at the sun i could see, the way gravity turns for you and me. and then i looked up at the sky and saw the sun, and the way that gravity pulls on everyone.
and its caught wide screen so we dont miss a thing.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
sorry seems to be the hardest word
sorry is one of man's most powerful words, yet some find it hard to let the words escape. sorry may seem like just a simple word, but millions of hidden feelings lay uncovered behind it. an apology may mean sorry for making you wait, or sorry for hurting you. an apology might disappoint you, it might turn a frown upside down, it might clear up all misconceptions, it might break you or make you. but some people just try to avoid the word anyways. why is it just so difficult saying sorry? why is it that it feels so hard stripping all of our pride and just let sorry ride on our tongues? is our pride really more important than friendship, family and most importantly, love? because if it is, its a really messed up world we're living in.
because i see you everyday but you just cant see that my heart has feelings for you that are genuine.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
all at once
there are certain people, you just keep coming back to. see it's right in front of you. and you being to wonder, could you find a better one, compared to it now in question. looking for the right one, you line up the world to find, where no questions cross your mind. but it wont keep on waiting for you without a doubt, much longer for you to sort it out. and all at once your mind beings to sing, and we'd never know what's wrong without the pain. sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. maybe you want it, maybe you need it, maybe you started to compare to someone not there.
my heart has been with you all this while. youd just have to open your eyes a little wider and realise it.